Friday, April 6, 2012

Still working on me

Last night my friend Emily got this picture after a Team Pearl iZumi group event.

Team PI Mountain States is a group of road runners, triathletes, and ultra runners in the Boise area.  Everyone has a unique talent or story.  Most of us will never win a race but we all train hard and never quit.

Anyway, even after being at my goal weight for over two years and accomplishing some pretty amazing things, I still don't always see myself the way others see me.  I would never have believed in a million years that I would be able to hang with an athletic crowd like this as an equal.  Maybe as the tag along chubby kid.

My point here is, to all the people who may read this and are desperately trying to lose weight, it isn't over when you reach your goal.  There is still a lot of work do getting your mind in the right place where you feel 100% comfortable.  My wife picked me up at work one day for lunch a while back and I made the comment that I don't see myself the way others see me.  She pointed out a guy walking down the road and I said, "Yes, so what that guy is tiny."  She reminded me that I look like him.

I am not sure what it will take to get completely there, but I continue to work on it.

On a side note, I also never thought I would wear a medium shirt with split leg HOT PANTS shorts.  There's a first time for everything I guess!


This is the other picture I always think, "who is that kid?" 100 yards from the finish line at the St. George Marathon in 2010.  On my way to a 3:14 Boston qualifying time just 18 months after deciding to make a change.


  1. The gal who rang me up at the store over the weekend, commented on how many Easter baskets I was buying. I told her I'm the Mom of five kids. She said, "Impossible! You're so tiny!" I had to look over my shoulder to see if she was talking to someone else. It still doesn't feel real when people say nice things like that to me. It sort of feels like they're just being "nice." You've come further than I have. You're fit, thin, FAST and super accomplished! You DO belong in that group! You're one of them now - a man who represents good health and fitness and accomplishment! I know it's hard to really get our brains around being who we are now, but as your friend I had to at least throw my 2 cents in and tell you --- you look great! Keep working on accepting your new truth.

  2. Thanks Christie. It's funny, I don't think about it all that often but when I see myself in pictures next to someone I know it really hits home. A similar thing happened when I wore Jon's pack at the 12 hour and the jacket fit!

  3. I put on an old dress yesterday. I used to think of it as a small dress since it was too tight to wear for years and just hung in the back of the closet. I accidentally put it on backwards (stop laughing!) and actually pulled my arms in and twirled it around on me since it's so BIG on me now!! It's a couple sizes too big now. That was a really tangible way to see how I've changed in size and seemed surreal. I saw a friend over the weekend who knew me at my heaviest. She saw me when I first started running and had moved away so had not seen me in a long time. She was speechless that I'd now lost all the weight and had ran 100 mile race. She said, "I remember when you couldn't run a block!" Seeing in her face the surprise really made me realize how different I look now. She said, "You give me hope! If you can lose the weight, so can I!" I told her, "YES, you can!!!"

  4. It's an amazing feeling to do be able to do that. I have a Columbia ski jacket that was so tight on me the last time I went skiing that I couldn't bend down to get my boots Cami could fit in there with me! I kept the pants (from the pictures the Statesman guy took) and one work shirt to remember. I haven't put them on since.


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