August 14, 2025 - Today was another tough day for me. Thankfully Amy Kinzer texted me the night before and asked if I would like to join her for a 4:30, IN THE AM, run start and I agreed because it has been hard to get my head around getting up in the morning. I have never regretted getting up early to share trail time with friends.
I told Amy about these constant reminders and how I feel each time I see them. After work I emailed this one to her and reading the words seem harder than the memories. Partly because I know what was really happening behind these often rosy Facebook updates.
The brass tacks version of this update would likely have said something like, Hannah is hanging on...just barely with the assistance of her ventilator. Her platelets have stabilized, sort of, and the inflammation from the blood in her lungs and kidneys is going to start shutting down organs if something doesn't change soon. The doctors estimate that she is up 32 pounds from all her issues and lack of kidney function. She is so swollen and distended that they have taken medical tape and taped her eyes closed so her eyeballs don't dry out. I sit in her room every night and stare at the ventilator dreaming of the day I can acquire one of my very own from a hospital and take it to the desert and unleash all of my anger, frustration, and sadness on it.
I showed this Facebook entry to Hannah while we were sitting on the couch last night. She has heard the stories but hadn't seen it in this level of detail. She said, wow that sounds horrible. I assured her that it was and I am happy that she has no recollection of any of this.
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