Coming back from Depression

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul. ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox 

After 5 years of digging a hole of depression I finally stopped digging and found my way out. These pictures are one year apart (Jan 30th, 2021 and Jan 30th, 2022). During the time Hannah spent in the hospital I lost my passion and drive for everything. In short my give a damn was broken. It’s hard to describe the trauma of sitting in a hospital room for weeks on end wondering if today will be the day. Never being allowed to be too happy because the next catastrophe could be right around the corner or too down because you have to have a clear head to make life altering decisions at a moments notice.

But then, Hannah got better and I didn’t. It didn’t make sense because our experience was nothing short of a miracle yet somehow I was stuck in a very dark place. Michelle finally realized I was becoming someone she knew I didn’t want to be and we started taking care of ourselves again on Jan 4th last year. She was doing her thing and I told her make me what you’re having to eat and we’ll go for walks to get started again.

In March, I went hiking with Nellie and Aaron that kicked off a great group of hiking and fun outings along with Andrea Kristine Stephanie and Eric. Having some friends and social time again really helped me and I am truly grateful for the time out with them.

Last year at the Pulse event at Eagle Island I volunteered to crew Nancy-David Emerson at the Bear 100 hoping that would get me excited to start running again. I didn’t volunteer to pace David because I didn’t even start running until mid May. Well, having a reason to get out the door every morning fired me up and by July I told him I might be good for 25 miles if I could stop in the middle and ice my foot. By the time the race came around I felt confident to go from mile 62 to the end and we had a wonderful night getting the final 38 miles done with plenty of time to spare.

I met my weight loss goal of 120 pounds in November after 11 months and finally feeling back to normal.

Glad I didn’t give up and that I had Michelle to help me find my way again.

Hopefully sharing will spark someone who has been stuck like I was and give them hope that they can find their way back to happiness.